Going out with ‘Friends’

This weeks topic is the interpretative “Going out…” (no, we’re not at the bottom of the barrel, what are you talking about?) and I’m talking about “With Friends”. Recently, I’ve had to deal with grey-line between ‘going on ‘a date’ and ‘going as friends’. I’ve consulted friends about it, and we’ve had length discussions about this strange topic. I recently met up with a guy I had been texting for quite a while after meeting at a University outing, and went for drinks together one night in my interpretation as ‘just as friends’.
Apparently this was not the case, says my friend and fellow EITNB writer Erin.

“If there’s a idea that it might be a date, then it’s a date.”

I’ve come to realise this is true, as much as I tried to deny that it was indeed a date and that we were actually meeting ‘just’ as friends. When you’re considering saying “BTW it’s not a date”, it is a date.

There’s this whole idea of ‘friend-zoning’ going around on the internet at the moment. I’ve heard some friends of mine say “Oh I don’t know if I should friendzone so-and-so or not” which makes me wonder if we (ladies, often) are categorising potential partners too quickly. On another case, this piece  marks the Friend Zone as a male’s attempt to belittle feminism and a woman’s right to say ‘no’.

“The Friend Zone is a fundamentally sexist construction based solely on the idea that women should be penalised for putting their own romantic happiness above that of an interested man.” – Foz Meadows.

Whatever the interpretation, friend zone memes always seem to remind me of this.

But can you ever date someone you’re friends with? I like to think ‘yes’, but maybe that’s just me,  the self-confessed ‘hopeless romantic’. Some of the best relationships I’ve known have come out of two friends getting together. But then there’s always the chance it’ll all go horribly wrong that you’ll ‘lose that person forever’. Then again, relationships are constantly changing, for better or worse.

I’d like to know people’s opinion on the matter. Dating a friend – for or against?



2 thoughts on “Going out with ‘Friends’

  1. I never thought of “friend-zoning” as sexist against females, yet another reason on my list of why men in general are selfish. I’ve never dated a good friend before, my current boyfriend of over 2 and a half years was…kind of….my friend. We spoke occasionally at school and a lot on MSN back in those days. Our relationship is the result of a drunk “hook-up” at my birthday party. I know a lot of people who were friends first then got together, they mostly worked out for a long time. One of the couples have moved in and are engaged now! It all depends on the specific people, I think.


  2. I think this as well Georgia. One of my best friends has been dating her ‘male’ best friend for around 5 years now (I say ‘male’ best friend, because I am her best friend overall! [Barney Stinson]). Two of my friends recently broke up after almost two years together. It definitely depends on the kind of people you are. Thanks for your thoughts creamysausage (secretly love your blog)/ Georgia.

    – Abra.

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